How to Become a Successful Opera Director

The Ten Commandments of Opera Directing, by Frufru:

McVicar, who else?

Rule no.1: Shock value is the value!!! Whatever you do, keep this in mind.

Rule no.2: Make a character gay.

Rule no.3: Make a character naked.

Rule no.4: Or both.

Rule no.5: If somebody dies, there should be a loooot of blood. No matter it's considered a mark of second-class horror movies.

Rule no.6: If an opera goer has to read through a manual to get a hint of what you're trying to say, you're on the right track.

Rule no.7: Use as much cliché as you are able to put in. Cliché in an artistic genre is considered to be "innovative approach."

Rule no.8: By ANY means whatsoever, don't get yourself troubled by the libretto or the score. The *story* is the important thing, and it has to be *retold.*

Rule no.9: Fire a soprano or two. Just to gain popularity. You'll always find a reason - too fat, too short, too tall, too bad an actress... doesn't want to undress creative differences...

Rule no.10: If half of the audience are booing and half are cheering you, you've achieved your goal. From now on, you'll be hailed by critics as one of the best opera directors, and DVDs will be sold only because your name is in the credits.